What a waste. Lil kids are sick and plus myself down wif very2 bad cough. Another weekend down the drain. So bored staying quiet at home. But too bad, i dun have the energy to go out. The pain in my chest is killing me!!

Wats the difference between a smoker and non smoker...? I find it the same. The pain i suffer is the same. I get coughs as an when even i dun smoke. I just dun understand.

Today hubby is going back to camp as usual. Wednesday is my off day, and hubby's appt day at the dentist. He might be going hm for a while to see us. Best kan?

Tp i m disappointed over something. Thursday is 21st May, and its our 4th yr anniversary. He is in camp, cant celebrate. But then the nxt day, 22nd May, friday he will be coming home, BUT, he wll be out wif his frens the whole nite for fishing. Truely disappointed. Tot i can spend the nite wif him even if its at home. Cuz saturday im working, no way that i can follow him out. After work on saturday i planned to go out wif him, but i wonder if my parents would like to take care of the gerls. I really dunno.

You might think it is just an anniversary. But to me, wedding anniversary is very important cuz it marks the day that we are officially together, and celebrating it, shows that even the relationship is getiing longer and longer, we still appreciate each other, loving each other and going strong. That is my pt of view. I dunno abt urself dear. I cant say no to his outing, i dun want to be someone who restricts him from going out. I trust that he is just going fishing wif his frens. Strictly no alcohol i hope, cuz he cant control his stupid attitude when he drinks.

I wanna cry. I plan so many things. but in the end it wont happen. However.. i will still be counting down...

4 days to our 4yrs...

I love you baby, and i hope u love me too as much as u used to love me 4 yrs ago.

Amin.